


The Hobbit and Lord of the rings short stories

by that_awkward_lesbian



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Funny, Hilarious, Inspired by The Hobbit, Inspired by The Lord of the Rings, M/M, Random & Short, Sneaky Hobbits, Stupidity, The Hobbit References, The Lord of the Rings References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28880358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_awkward_lesbian/pseuds/that_awkward_lesbian
Summary: So I've watched the hobbit and lord of the rings movies so many times literally Ive watched All six more than 5 times this year.I decided to write short stories for each trilogy so hopefully these will be funny and you will enjoy reading them!Let's get started!!
Relationships: Aragorn | Estel/Legolas Greenleaf, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Elrond Peredhel/Lindir, Gimli (Son of Glóin)/Legolas Greenleaf, Kíli (Tolkien)/Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Thorin Oakenshield & Thorin's Company
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Hi!

So if you have ideas for a short story/oneshot I guess comment here,I don't mind. 

I will do slash as well, I don't have many ships in the Lord of the rings or the hobbit but I have some.

Elrond x Lindir

Aragorn x legolas

Legolas x Gimli

Tauriel x Kili

Thorin x Bilbo

That's about it, I do have ideas but not many they can be AUs as well I don't mind

See ya! 

Word count : 100


	2. Hobbits and Conkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decided to write the first one tonight because I had an idea for it already.
> 
> Summary : Bilbo is angry at Thorin for being rude and insulting him so he teaches the Dwarven King a Lesson

Decided to write the first one tonight because I had an idea for it already.

Summary : Bilbo is angry at Thorin for being rude and insulting him so he teaches the Dwarven King a Lesson

With conkers... 

Era : The Hobbit 

Characters : Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf, thorins company, 

Pairing : Thorin/ Bilbo 

Third person pov

Bilbo was angry, he was angry at a curtain Dwarf. But what could he do other than glare at him.

Gandalf has done nothing to stop Thorin because he gave up too what could a Hobbit do to get back at the Dwarf. 

Lucky for Bilbo he found a pile of conkers on the grassy ground, smirking he quickly put them in his pockets making sure knowone saw him doing it. 

He then put his plan in motion. 

He stayed at the back of the company grabbed a conker and launched it high into the air. 

It flew a few meters before hitting its mark, grinning devilishly Bilbo snorted as Thorin let out a yelp. 

Rubbing his head where the conker hit him Thorin held a confused look on his face before looking above him glaring at the trees 

He then shrugged and they continued on the trail, a Few minutes later Bilbo threw another one. 

He threw it harder and landing on Thorins head again, he let out a yelp the company started laughing. 

Kili and Fili laughed the most almost falling of their ponies of Dwalin hadn't grabbed them in time. 

Gandalf smirked under his beard he knew what was happening but he didn't stop the Hobbit. 

Bilbo continued throwing Conkers every few miles, he didn't have many conkers so he had to save them. 

He knew that Gandalf could tell it was him throwing them but he didn't show that he did. 

Bilbo kept kept hitting Thorin with conkers till they got to Rivendell once they got there he stopped as he had run out of them. 

Instead he started to use whatever he could find around Rivendell, with help from a few of the elfs he found more conkers. 

What surprised him was Thorin hadn't said anything to him about the conkers, which obviously meant he hadn't guessed it was him doing it. 

On their journey to Beorns house Bilbo threw a few more at Thorin, Thorin had stopped insulting him at he saved him from Azog. 

But Bilbo did it on occasion, especially when Thorin was rude about the elfs he got a rather hard Conker thrown at him. 

Bilbo was having fun he could tell he was lightening tbe mood from throwing his Conkers so he kept doing it. 

He didn't stop until they got to Erebor even then he didn't stop throwing them. 

At the end of their quest Thorin comfronted Bilbo abort the conkers and he apologised which Bilbo excepted. 

Thorin still got Conkers thrown at him time to time be he knew he deserved them. 

The moral of this is never Piss of a Hobbit if you want a Conker thrown at your head from behind 

The end 

Hope you liked this sorry that it isn't to long I didn't have much to write for it but I hoped you found it funny and enjoyed reading it! 

Word count : 550


	3. Elf, Trees and Elvish Insults

Here's another one I just thought of this idea

Summary : Legolas doesn't want to go into a cave with the rest of the Fellowship so he sleeps in a tree to get him down Aragorn and Legolas begin trading insults with each other to the amusement to the Hobbits. 

Era : Lord of the rings 

Characters : Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, frodo, Pippin, Sam, merry, Boromir, Gandalf, 

Pairing : Legolas/Aragorn 

Third person pov

"Legolas"

Cried an annoyed ranger, said Elf just elegantly turned away from the Ranger

"No way"

Cried the Elf leaning back in the tree he was in, Aragorn sighed and ran a hand down his face.

It had started raining just as they left Rivendell, it was pouring everyone was wet, cold and shivering slightly.

So they found a cave to stay till the rain let's up, everyone other than a Stubborn Elf walked in.

Instead the Elf climbed up one of the tall trees surrounding the cave and he wouldn't get down. 

"Legolas Greenleaf get your elf Arse down here now" damanded the Ranger. 

Legolas shook his head "Nope" he said sounding like an Elfling, Aragorn Growled out a few elvish curses. 

He began pacing outside the cave entrance he looked back up at the elf in the tree he ran a hand threw his wet hair. 

"Why not?" he dared to ask 

"why would I go into a cave like a _Dwarf"_ came a snooty reply, with his back still turned Legolas crossed his arms. 

Legolas knew Aragorn couldn't climb up the tree so he was safe from the rangers rath for a while at least until he had to clb down. 

"get down now" ~ Aragorn 

"No" ~ Legolas 

"now" ~ Aragorn 

"No" ~ Legolas 

"now legolas" ~ Aragorn 

"let me think... 

NO!" ~ Legolas 

"Stubborn elf" ~ Aragorn 

" hmp smelly Human" ~ Legolas 

"you take that back" ~ Aragorn 

"never" ~ Legolas 

"two can play at that game" ~ Aragorn 

"we'll see" ~ Legolas 

Legolas sarcastically replies he smirks at Aragorns affronted expression. 

" _ **Auta miqula orqu(1)"**_ ~ Legolas 

Legolas smirked as he saw the look on Aragorns face, Aragorn smirked 

"fine we will do it that way huh" he shouted up to Legolas. 

He turned away to think before clicking his fingers and pointing at Legolas 

" _ **Amin feuya ten' lle(2)" ~**_ Aragorn 

Legolas growls and stands on the branch he was laying on 

" _ **Lle naa haran e' nausalle(3)"**_ ~ Legolas 

" ** _Antolle ulua sulrim(4)" ~_** Aragorn 

**_"Lle naa haran e' nausalle(5)"_** ~ Legolas 

With the Fellowship... 

Pippin turned to Gandalf who was smiling as he listened to the Ranger and Elf Prince Argue outside. 

"Gandalf what arw they saying out there" he asked the Wizard, in response Gandalf laughed

"My dear Pippin Aragorn and Legolas are exchanging Elvish insults nothing to worry about" said the Wizard 

Pippin nodded and continued to listen to Aragorn and Legolas insult each other. 

Back with legolas and Aragorn... 

" _ **Amin delotha lle(6)"**_

Huffed aragorn he was running out of Insults, Legolas laughs as he hears the last one. 

"thats the best you've got" mocked Legolas, Aragorn growled and stomped back inside the cave 

Up in the trees legolas grinned happily he was able to stay in his tree. 

The end! 

This was fun to write 

(1) Auta miqula orqu= go kiss an orc

(2)Amin feuya ten' lle= You disgust me

(3)  
Lle naa haran e' nausalle= you are king in your imagination

(4)Antolle ulua sulrim= Much wind pours from  
your mouth

(5)Lle naa haran e' nausalle= you are king in your imagination

(6)  
Amin delotha lle= I hate you

Word count : 600


	4. Truth or Dare with the Fellowship

Heres another one

Summary : The hobbits are bored with all the seriousness so they get the fellowship to play truth or dare with them

Era : Lord of the rings

Characters : Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, frodo, Pippin, Sam, merry, Boromir, Gandalf,

Third person pov...

"let's play Truth or Dare!"

Pippin Declared as he and the other Hobbits looked at their taller companions and Gimli

Aragorn sighed but nodded "why not it could help us relax" he said, it was already nearing night fall

So the Hobbits came up with a good simple game to play, all 9 of them sat around the fire that Sam had made.

"who wants to go first" asked Boromir, surprisingly it was Aragorn who raised his hand.

"I will" he said and looked pointedly at the Elf opposite him, Legolas Gulped

Aragorn saw this and smirked, "truth or dare **_Mellon nin_** "

"Truth" said Legolas

"is it true that when we were younger you changed my shampoo to purple dye"

Everyone looked shocked at the usually stoic Elf the Hobbit and Gimli snickered loudly.

"Yes it might of been me" muttered legolas a dark blush on his cheeks

"Hah!" Aragorn jumped up "I knew it" he cried Victorious, he did a strange but funny dance.

"you have been wanting to ask that for years, haven't you" laughed Frodo Aragorn nodded at the hobbit.

"My turn, Pippin truth or dare" ~ Legolas

"Dare!" ~ Pippin

"I dare you to swap clothes with Gimli" said the wood elf, Gimli glared at the elf as he and Pippin stripped.

Soon Pippin was wearing Gimlis clothes and the Dwarf was wearing the Hobbits.

Once they came out everyinr burst out in laughter apart from Legolas who looked smug.

"I will go" came Gandalfs voice, he managed to startle everyone around him, they had thought he had fallen asleep.

"Estel, Truth or Dare" he said now it was Aragorns turn to gulp "Truth" he muttered

Gandalf smirked and stopped smoking his pipe "who was it that stole my hat when you were a youngling" asked Gandalf raising his eyebrows

Once again broke the silence as Aragorn blushed bright red, he stammered out a reply

"W-Well I did it yes but it was Elladan and Elrohir who told me to do it" cried Aragorn trying to regain some dignity from before

The Fellowship spent the rest of the night playing truth or Dare and having fun together.

Gandalf told all kinds of stories from legolas and Aragorns past

Eventually it was morning and the fellowship had more confidence in themselves as a group

(Also they had some Black mail to use against each other.)

The Hobbits of the group Continued to have fun game ideas for the fellowship to play

The end!

Sorry for this not being as long as the other oneshots, hope yoy liked it anyway.

Word count : 476


End file.
